Aging happens to all of us, yet society often makes women feel like it's something to be ashamed of, or something we have to fight against.

We're constantly bombarded with images and messages that glorify youth, pushing us to hide the natural process of getting older. But what if we flipped the script? What if we celebrated every change, every wrinkle, every grey hair and every year instead of mourning what was?
It's time for us to be able to age without apology, embracing each stage of life with grace, confidence, and pride.
I am incredibly lucky to be able to do that at the ripe old age of 49 just gone, however hard it may be sometimes. When I was 41, I got a huge shock with a life changing diagnoses which made me think that getting to 42 wouldn’t be possible!!

The Beauty and privilege of Aging

Aging isn’t a flaw as the media would have us believe; it’s a true testament to a life well-lived.
Each line on our face or mark on our bodies tells a story—of laughter, love, challenge and triumph.
These certainly aren’t imperfections to be hidden away, but badges of honour to be proudly displayed. Embracing aging means recognising and celebrating the beauty that comes with it: our experiences, our memories, and the wisdom we've (hopefully) gained along the way.

I recently reconnected with some old Air Force pals of mine, in celebration of one of their birthdays and Martin (the most organised band member) of dug out these old photo of us all in a band together named Two Upfront.

In this photo we were playing at 21st birthday party in Leeds. (The Offices Mess at RAF Linton on Ouse was our usual hang-out)
It seem’s like five minutes ago since that night and a lifetime ago all at the same time.

That was the night Will Young had won pop idol - that tells you how long ago it was!!!
(I bet you are going to google that now!! LOL)

Anyway, it got me reflecting and thinking about the fun adventures we had as a band and how much fun it would be to do it all again. I found myself almost mourning the loss of those days and many other adventures throughout my life when I was ‘younger’ and over analysing and comparing myself now to then.
We all do it don’t we - compare to our younger selves, perhaps beat ourselves up for not being able to squeeze into that outfit we used to love in our 20s. But how good is this for our self-confidence and self-esteem??

However, it seems the fashion stylings from when I grew up are coming back around (as they do). That’s great because I still have some of those old outfits hanging around in the wardrobe that I can dig out, BUT, someone did let me know the other day that our styles from the 80’s and 90’s are are now officially vintage!!!
Thanks for that! LOL

The Societal Double Standard

Let’s face it, society has a double standard when it comes to aging. Men are often seen as getting more distinguished with age, while women are pressured to maintain their youthful looks. This double standard is not only unfair but incredibly harmful, undermining women's self-esteem and pushing unrealistic beauty standards.

Rejecting this double standard means redefining beauty on our own terms. It’s about understanding that true beauty comes from self-acceptance and authenticity. By embracing our aging process, we challenge those societal norms and set a powerful example for future generations.
Emma Thompson (actor) is doing just that and quite brilliantly - speaking out about the pressures to go under the knife in her industry or use injectables to 'enhance’ appearance.
That’s not to say I am against any form of ‘enhancements’ if you choose to do that by the way.
It’s not for me personally, but the point is, we all should have the choice - without pressure - to age in the way that we want to and without apology!

As I journey through aging myself, I’ve come to appreciate the strength and wisdom that come with every passing year that I am gifted. Thankfully staying healthy and working hard to stay that way.
In my twenties and even early thirties, I often felt the need to ‘fit in’ with things that people were doing, lifestyle choices etc. The peer pressure to drink, smoke etc. But honestly, I didn’t really know myself - I think on reflection I was still trying to work that out.
I hid any scars/marks on my body under clothing and my pasty white skin, afraid of what anyone might say ashamed of my perceived imperfections or worried about the looks i might get from others.
Even in my thirties and married, I hadn’t really realised my own sense of self, although it was starting to emerge.

Now divorced and knocking on the door of 50, I feel more empowered than ever. The lines on my face and marks on my body remind me of countless moments of joy, sorrow, and growth.
I’ve learned to appreciate my body for it’s amazing strength, healing power and resilience, rather than criticising it for perceived imperfections. Aging has definitely brought me a deeper sense of self-awareness and a stronger connection to my inner self.

Celebrating Every Stage of Life

Aging without apology means celebrating every stage of life for its unique gifts and opportunities. Our twenties and thirties might be filled with exploration and discovery, while our forties and beyond bring a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Each decade offers new experiences and lessons, shaping us into the people we are meant to become.

Embracing aging also means taking care of ourselves in a holistic way. It’s about nourishing our bodies, minds, and souls, and recognising that self-care needs to evolves with age. What worked for us in our twenties and thirties might need to be adjusted in our forties and fifties - and that’s perfectly okay!! Listening to our bodies and honouring our needs is a crucial part of aging well.

Aging without apology is an act of self-love and acceptance. Let’s reject societal pressures and embracing the process of growing older with dignity and pride. (Although many might say I am hell-bent on growing old disgracefully!! LOL) As women, we have the power to redefine aging, to celebrate our journeys and to inspire others to do the same.

So here’s to every woman who refuses to apologise for aging.
May we continue to honour our stories, celebrate our inner and outer beauty and embrace every year with open hearts and unyielding confidence.

Aging is not something to be feared but a journey to be cherished, one wrinkle, one grey hair, and one beautiful year at a time.

It is a privilege that many do not receive.